Do animals grieve? Of course they do. Animals of all kinds have sophisticated family systems and interpersonal relationships with one another. Just like us, they form very close bonds with some, and not so much with others. Just like us, they have besties, and when their friend dies, they mourn. And just like us they experience grief in their own unique way.
Built to cry… The grief that accompanies the loss of a beloved companion animal is profound and the pain of that loss can be felt emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Grief is a grueling physical experience and shedding tears is one of the ways our body supports us in processing and healing from loss. Sadness and grief are the emotions that help us with loss…
The fact is we don’t know a whole lot about how animals communicate, but we certainly know that they do. It’s possible there is a lot more communication happening between us and our animals than we are sometimes aware of, or give ourselves (or them) credit for. It’s an opportunity to develop our emotional intelligence and also to shift our attention to both the verbal and non-verbal ways that we communicate.
It is a common expression of concern for men to hear that “it’s important to express your feelings about this loss.” The prevailing conventional “wisdom” is that men do not necessarily grieve well… that they could be better at expressing emotion.
It is sometimes easy to misunderstand what the different ways people grieve mean. For instance, I have spoken with people whose families are concerned about them because they have not cried over a significant loss. I’ve also worked with people who suffer from the perception that they do not love their pet as much as others do, for the same reason. On the other hand you may find that you’re worried about your loved one because they are still crying weeks and months after a beloved pet has passed. Understanding that different ways of expressing grief is perfectly normal and offering that generosity to your loved ones can help them to heal.
Quality of life is a term that comes into the conversation when a pet is nearing the end of their life or experiencing an illness. There are several ways to assess quality of life but it is very important to remember that you and your family are the experts when it comes to your pet. Discussing quality of life issues with other people who love your pet can be very helpful and Including children in discussions can be particularly helpful to them as they process what is happening to their dear pet.
“I don’t think my pet is in pain.”
We spend so much time with our pets that sometimes we don’t recognize how their behavior or bodies have changed because those changes are so subtle and change slowly over time. This can sometimes create the impression that our pet is not experiencing pain. Which is why it is so important to assess pain in an objective way.